http://www.dssghq.net/forums/index.php?app=blog Community Blog List Syndication Tue, 10 Nov 2009 21:45:16 +0000 dssgnetman@yahoo.com (DSSG Community Forums) IP.Blog 60 I run and hide
my emotions secluded
into the distance unknown
the only love i ever felt
gone
the only desire i ever wanted
vanished
and yet i feel nothing
no pain
no tears
as if i was on a high
from the epitome of sin
my tears don't fall
my pain doesn't hurt
my voice won't make a sound
secluded from everything
ostracized by my own emotions
torn apart by my convictions
taken away by my bliss
i'm safe in seclusion
you don't know me
or of me
i'm free of everything
seclusion
my reality lifeline]]> Fri, 08 Feb 2008 17:29:27 +0000
BF2142 is pretty fun, but it too suffers from the Holy Shit What the Fuck just happened moments.

WoW is the anti-christ in disguise.

Christmas is upon us. Hard to believe another year is almost over.

Ok Im bored of this now.

Nighty Night]]> Thu, 21 Dec 2006 21:00:27 +0000
i usually write/type on myspace

and this is how i do it

a few lines at a time

no grammar check

nothing

just good old fashioned ranting

so heres what i'm thinking

I'm really getting annoyed with people

Don't insult my playing skills

i've never insulted yours

nor would i

it's a freakin game for christ sake

I'm no goddess of a player

but i don't suck that bad

comments like that make me want to hit my xbox again

i have so much confusion in my head

but i'll always smile

and laugh

and pretend like everythings okay

one of these days i'm really going to speak my mind

and then just stop this game as a whole]]> Mon, 09 Oct 2006 03:25:00 +0000
I went to a friend's house to feed his fish, as I had been instructed to do the day before. I had a house key, but upon the porch I heard voices inside, so I knocked and was told that there were "no nugs, no nugs." I said, I need to feed the fish, and the door opened. Inside stood (and sat, on my buddies favorite chair too) 12 to 15 plainclothed policemen. SOme had those badge necklaces, but most just wore flannel shirts and looked like normal ol' people.

I was instantly questioned and searched along with my car, and after finding nothing of interest they let me go about my fish-feeding business, but all the while, they sat there making jokes and poking fun at me, being a bit more assholy than necessary.

"no bowls today hotshot." "bring your bowl in here, lets take a look at it!"
"clean your bowl out before you come in HERE"

they were obsessed over bowls (bowl = piece used to smoke marijuana, for those uninitiated few)

i took my time, watching them work. it is seldom one like myself gets to see that side of the law without ramifications, and I wanted to soak every little minute in. either that or i was soaking in sweat. there was a soaking going on of some sort.

I found out the next day that I walked into the middle of a warranted search. My buddy apparently had a bit of the ol' maryjane in there and the cops wanted it for themselves. I escaped with no trouble, but am needlessly convinced that i am invincible since, in actuality, I had pot on me at the time but they didn't find it.

if you're taking notes, thats oizo with 1 point, police with zero. well, they got my buddy, but he'll be ok. he has a very good lawyer.

moral of story? crime doesn't pay, but luck certainly does. play the lottery!]]> Sun, 26 Mar 2006 17:54:56 +0000

I woke up this morning and was expected to automatically know what a Red Flag Warning is from my local town's news website. It took a good minute to search around other weather sites to figure out what was going on, but before I could, I took a cigarette break outside, having to take another good minute to figure out how to light it with all the wind. In fact, it was so windy that I only got a few drags off that cigarette before it was ripped from my hands and tossed into the air. I retreated to my apartment, the door sucked shut behind me, and completly forgot what it was I was confused about, so I hopped online and decided to write about it in my blog but my mouse malfunctioned and melted into the table so I had to tab about until I got to the google search in my firefox window so I could run a quick check on keyboard shortcuts in Windows, and that is how i got my nickname burny.]]> Wed, 15 Mar 2006 15:39:02 +0000
I got robbed of $150 last night, and all I am is angry. Does the paranoia come later? Does the fact that the robber happens to be a friend of mine come into play at all? Will I suspect every friend from now on of being capable of, with no regard to karma or "good will towards men", doing the same sinister act?

I got mugged once in hawaii for my shoes at gun point and it was no big deal. I felt a little frightened every time I went out while I remained on vacation, but as soon as I left, the fear did as well.

But this was a friend, and in my home, and now, all I can think of is getting hold of this friend and doing really cruel things to them, along with getting back my money. Naturally, they're hiding from me at this point, but eventually I will find them. Once this occurs, will the paranoia start then?

I am clueless as to what I should be feeling, or what to expect as this whole incident plays out in its entirety, but $150 isn't that much money. Well, it is to me, but in the big scheme of things, it isn't going to send me out on the streets and forever ruin my life, which leads me to a more Buddhist approach to the whole thing by declaring the monetary loss just a simple possession that, in actuality, never belonged to me in the first place. Is it big of me to let it go as simple materialistic possessions? I think I could actually do that, but I don't know if I should.

And the friend, I believe, is no longer a friend, despite the outcome of it all. I can't think of an argument against this.

So here is a cheers to all of you, since I feel much better now writing about it.

The anger is subsiding.

*the pot may be helping : P]]> Tue, 07 Mar 2006 02:04:21 +0000
Being off work for days on end (about 12 days total for me over the holidays) is nice and all, but it only means that all that work is waiting for me when I get back. More so this year, since our first big event of 2006 was out in California on January 12. Not enough time to get all your backed-up work done when you have a conference hanging over your head, so things I normally do at the beginning of the year (updating our website for the new year, cleaning out my desk, putting files in storage...) was pushed off.

Luckily, this past week was great for that kind of thing since our Internet connection was out at work Wednesday-Friday. Can you imagine three full days without internet in an office in this day and age? We have a backup dial-up connection, enough to download and send email, but it basically ground my normal work to a halt. XO Communications has said they won't have our business DSL connection up again until someday Monday, so that could potentially mean four full business days of no internet! I'll be shopping for a new provider at some point next week, I think.

So how was Christmas? Well, it was great as always. I love hanging out with the in-laws, just taking it easy, playing games, and chatting it up. My father in-law has been on a kick these last few years where he has made a game for us "kids" (my husband, his three siblings, and me) to play each Christmas. This year, he outdid himself!!

We began by reading the rules - four single-spaced pages of instructions and rules. Basically, the game consisted of about 12 rounds of competitions, with each player receiving poker chips in different denominations as prizes, depending on your placement within the round. The rounds of competition included
timed laying of a 100-pieces puzzle, timed solving of a Sudoku puzzle, competition in computer bowling, air gun target shooting, a mini-electronic skeeball competition, a nerf-basketball competition, a round of Yahtzee, getting the best one-coin PacMan score, and a couple of other things that I can't recall.

There were yellow balls awarded as prizes, plastic dragons that you could use to trade yellow balls for other players' chips, and many other ways to get your chip count high. Then we used our chips to get bingo boards, and the final competition was to get to Bingo! Ducky won, much to the chagrin of his younger brother... I think the whole thing took about 18 hours over 2 days... Lots of fun, though!!!

We also had fun on Christmas Eve, playing with the present we gave early to my father-in-law - a Kanakadea Atlatl and some spears. An Atlatl is a spear thrower, which acts as a fulcrum for your arm and allows you to throw much further and harder than you would otherwise. We spent several hours in the field behind their subdivision, taking turns throwing it. Some random guy happened to bike by, but had to stop and watch for a while. We finally talked him into trying it, which was funny. Not what he had been thinking he would do that day, for sure. I swear you can throw about three times the distance of a normal throw with that thing! Now I have to get a pretty one for myself...

Otherwise not much to say or "reflect" on.. I'm glad to be back to playing in CAL with the PS guys, particularly since we are now playing and not just getting forfeits. We will do better once we start playing together more, too. Thanks to Render's prodding, I've also updated our website finally. See the updates at ps.dssghq.net. If we can just try not to get hacked again, that would be good...

I'll close with a few fun links.
I have been solving the two intelligece tests that have made the rounds lately. The first one is easier, while the second one is a bit harder. They are fun to solve, though my cultural bias is making some of them kinda of tough. The british-culture ones are particularly hard.

I also like the new ways to use Flickr. It's fun to see how others think and tag at fastr, and fun to try out some art for yourself at retrievr, where you search for (a limited set of flickr photos) by drawing what you are looking for. It's mostly color based, but still cool.

The Fabulist site I found this week is kind of fun. Kinda girly, maybe, but still has some great links. I've also been listening pretty much constantly to P3 Svea, which is the "young, Swedish music" channel from Swedish Radio channel 3. Some of the Swedish music is fun. The depth of styles is cool, with lots of immigrant-inspired music, plus some very hip-hop-ey but pop type stuff. I have one song stuck in my head (driving me crazy!). It's not really my style of music. I think it's in my head more because the bass line is very nice, and the "selfish, narcissistic, psycho, freaking bootlicking Nazi pimp" line makes me smile.
Listen to Robyn's "Handle me" here]]> Sat, 28 Jan 2006 21:15:08 +0000
It seems it is a perpetual campaign to activity, to productivity, as if the entire world has thaasophobia. All a guy wants to do is lie around listening to music, he's lazy. No matter the thoughts that go through his head, no matter the inspirations and personal growth that could occur in that inconspicuous moment. Go outside. Go do something. Get off the damn couch.

Stop staring at the computer. What the hell is wrong with you? Shooting people all the time isn't healthy, it can't be. You aren't being productive.

A productive cough is one that includes mucus or sputum. Makes you think.

So I want to sit and listen to music. The motherflowering Dead Kennedys. So I want to snort a gagger of pure MDMA and feel my mind turn 360 degrees in my skull. So I want to melt from the inside out and watch myself doing it. So. flowering. What.

The community seems to function fine with me out of it. Can I not enjoy the personal choice of involving myself or not? Is being homeless and poor, sitting in a box in the Shinjuku train station watching the petticoats float past on their magnificent shoes really all that bad for the rest of you? Let me enjoy my suffering. I won't destroy society in a day.

I won't leech. I'll just wither. I'll even feed myself off the others dying around me, keep your Timberlands nice and clean. I can't even have that. Cannibalism is illegal in America.

But I'll chew my way to freedom through the bodies like a burrowing mole, blind to anything other than the steel bars closing in behind me as the pesky animal-control tries to stick me back in my natural habitat. Pop the last few hits as they grab my tail and get ready to do it all over again.

A rant.]]> Sun, 22 Jan 2006 17:34:59 +0000
Happy Thanksgiving!!

We were supposed to go see my dad in Texarkana, where he is working as a contractor for a while, but work is getting in the way. I'm not a big Thanksgiving kinda person anyway, since it's a very U.S. holiday. Give me Christmas any day!!! I'm hoping to do some shopping tomorrow, though, wheeee!!

So, being bored, I went through some of my bookmarks looking for something to do. I thought I would post some here too, in case someone else was casting about for stuff to read or do...

As per Figgys comment, please note that some of these are Not Safe For Work... I forget, since I hardly ever click any non-work related stuff at work.

Let's start out with the seminal list at I am Bored! That will lead you places you may not want to go.
Radiohead Creep Animation always a favorite to make me smile.
Daypop and Blogdex, showing the hot topics of bloggers around the net.
The OOPs list, pics of pretty much anything you can think of that would make you go "oops!"
Toothpaste for Dinner, the mesmerizing detrius of the web. It loads random Livejournal pictures, and it's a really fascinating look into American youth and their lives. From this page, I learned that those online quizzes are really popular!

Need a stock photo for a graphics project? Well, here is a good run-down for ya.
How about some British Propaganda Posters or some neat pictures from the Library of Congress.
Or do you prefer something a little more old fashioned? How about the Historic Tale Construction Kit! Make your own version of the Bayeux Tapestry!
You need good fonts to go with those pictures, though, so check out Font Face and DaFont.
Finally, how about some extra special weird stuff? Then How Strange! should do it, or perhaps the pictures in the gallery by Alessandro Bavari, or even some of the weird morphs over at Human Descent.

Anyone who has seen my "favorite fantasy books" list below, know that I'm a big Neil Gaiman fan. Well, he maintains a blog on a regular basis, which is always full of weird links and fun posts. He seems to be a great guy, too. If you like the Sandman comics, by the way, the BBC has a great Sandman Page that explains the world and characters in it.

You know how the media is always talking about women in gaming, and then sometimes you find out that they mean housewives who spend time on Yahoo Games or something? Well, I guess I fit into that category too, at least sometimes, because I do play Bejeweled a lot...
Then on the other hand, I play poker sometimes too. Not linking to Party Poker, though...
However, I will link to a page with links to text adventure games. Played through the Zork games lately? For you young-uns, this is what adventure games were like when we were kids...

Ok, I'm done linking for a bit, but I will close with a political statement that somehow got mixed into my bookmarks. You a Pastafarian? If so, here is a good list of Answers to Creationist Nonsense from Scientific American. I do believe in evolution, by the way, if you couldn't tell...]]> Thu, 24 Nov 2005 19:15:10 +0000
Some guy on the street gave me this green little book of Psalms and got me all thinking about God and Jesus and their like. Then I noticed that the book was GREEN. So I got high and played video games, forgetting completely about God and Jesus and the book. Then the high wore off, and I ate some food and wrote a little story about knee-high weasels attacking some kid, and when I finished that, I saw that the book was NO WHERE TO BE FOUND. What happened to the book? WHERE DID IT GO!?

Seriously, I looked all over the place and its freakin gone. Or maybe I forgot where I put it.

That's irony baby, oh yea.]]> Mon, 14 Nov 2005 20:03:26 +0000